Why am I Writing a Blog?

Cliché (noun): a trite, stereotyped expression; a sentence or phrase, usually expressing a popular or common thought or idea that has lost originality, ingenuity, and impact by long overuse. e.g. Beginning a personal essay, or blog post, with a definition of a word pertaining to the content.

Noncommittal (adjective): not committing oneself, or not involving committal, to a particular view, course, or the like. e.g. Being unable to commit to a project for more than fifteen minutes.

When I was growing up, I dreamt of becoming a writer. I would spend hours typing out new stories to post on fanfiction.net (Who else wrote a self-insert fanfic about Dragonheart, the 1996 movie in which Sean Connery plays a dragon and cons villages with Dennis Quaid? Anyone? Just me? Cool.). The first project I ever did in school was a very compelling short novel about a dinosaur who ate too many leaves and got fat, and had a harrowing journey into thinness by not eating as many leaves.

For most people who grow up, interests tend to change. Not I, writing was my life’s purpose, and I didn’t care what it would take to create the greatest novel of our century. It was my destiny! My art! My passion! I wanted to dedicate my life to art, even if that meant suffering for it. Yep, I was dreaming of pulling a RENT and living the bohemian lifestyle if that was what it would take.

Then college happened and my desire to write was like, “Bye, have fun with your never ending reading assignments, analyst papers and existential dread.” Thanks, college!

I still love writing. If anything, college made me love writing more because now I understand it better. The flow from one sentence to another, the subtle twists that turn sentences into coherency, characterization, plot structure; these are all things I think about when I consume movies, books or music.

I’ve become very noncommittal (scream for the word of the day!) with my writing endeavors. I have a novel that I’ve been working on, another novel I want to return to and countless attempts at short stories. I just can’t sit down and do it. I haven’t sat at my desk and become enveloped in my own stories since adolescence.

So why the hell am I writing a blog? I can’t carry out something like this! The only project I’ve followed through was re-watching Gilmore Girls for the seventeenth time. It will take me two weeks to think of a topic to write about and then another three weeks to decide how I want to write it, and then a month or so of wondering why I haven’t written anything before I finally abandon the post all together.

But hey! Not this time! I have a secret to success. I’m going to write in advance. Yep, gonna compile a list of topics and be ready. Call me Jessica Simpson, because I am getting pro-active!

I still feel like a writer. Despite the decrease in activity since graduation, I drive down the road and see things I would write about. Or a story comes into my head when I look at someone across the street. That desire is still inside of me, and I think the goal for anyone with that desire is just to do. Fight the laziness, ignore the martyrdom of writer’s block, and just create – no matter what comes out. We won’t get anywhere if we wonder, especially if we don’t try.

Seriously, I mean it this time.